I really don’t know where to go with this post tonight….. my brain is all over the map. I am over ecstatic that my ‘baby’ and her new baby are now safely and happily back in their home and doing well…….. I am also torn with what I am feeling over the loss of my cousin who was raised in our home almost like a Daughter [albeit briefly] is no longer on this planet with us….. my brain and my heart for the first time in memory don’t know what to do…… tough place for an old fart that is used to always being in charge and always knowing what to do…… now……….don’t…………………..I said to my son EMMIT….. Godamnit EMMIT~!!
My Queen and I went out for a long scheduled Chef’s special last night and then got a last minute invite to spend this evening with dear friends at Blues tonight…… so our life on this gorgeous island moves on as [almost] required……. but I still remain at a loss. I spent the better part of the day taking care of the aggravating and mundane tasks of everyday life and getting ready to head back to the states this weekend. It has been over 2 years since I have been back, to anywhere with any since of normality and familiarity. I’m excited and dreading it all at the same time. That probably isn’t the right thing to say and it probably don’t sound ‘right’ – but that is just where I am right now…… confused. The Chef’s tasting was nice (although nothing remarkable) – – – – the evening this afternoon with Shawn and Cynthia and his 3 Daughters was much more enjoyable – for multiple reasons – including watching his 3 young beautiful Daughters throw bean bags, run, tumble, cartwheel and fuss among themselves……….. which brought back wonderful memories and made me smile on multiple occasions………
I wish I was going somewhere specific with this….. but I just can’t……. I’m in a fog I haven’t been in, in quite some time. I’m sure I will come out of it by the time we land in the arm pit of the Mid-West (Evansville)……. having a lot of time to sort things out while zipping through the skies at 350 mph……. Lots of running to do tomorrow for final prep for our flight back to the land of plenty……. but until I get my head on straight….. I’m leaving it here… and some pix from the last day or so………..
Good Night Ya’ll . . . . . . . . . . . . Thankx for stopping in~!
Hard to tell – but there is water running down the entire face – Angie loved it~!
Me and My Queen~~
2 thoughts on “What a messed up couple of days……”
My heart aches for you,,,death is such a mystery and leaves us with so many questions, and when we loose someone so young, it is much, much worse,,wish I could help you with great words of wisdom from an old, old 87 year old, but I can’t, As you know my faith in God, the hereafter and all things I have been taught as a Baptist growing up, and now a Methodist still mean the same to me, I believe, ,,,,but that being said,,,so many things I don’t understand,,and sometimes have a hard time understanding,….for me,the worst was after my mother passed away,,,she was the nearest thing to a perfect.. kindest person I have ever known ..who turned into the opposite as I watched dementia take her mind and her dignity,,,my dad, who was with her 24/7 and almost lost his identity, began to be himself again after her death,,,,he could go out by himself, played golf, went to senior citizens, played cards, and then ,,,out of no where,,lost his eyesight,,,,had been blind in one eye since birth, no problem, then,,,boom,,,lost sight in other eye,,,yet continued to live by himself, with help,,,but I was lots of things,,angry most of all, and so confused,,,how could this happen,,,so I know where you are partially coming from,,,,so hard to put your mind around it, I also know it won’t do you any good for me to tell you to just know it is life, and we have no control to a point,,,and,,,it will get better, and as for me, my belief got me through,,but we all have our own way, I think coming home will help you, so many people here as well as your biological family love you, care about you and Angie, Miss you, and will be glad to see you,,,so draw from all of us, and re generate and recharge your batteries while on solid ground,,,be safe coming home,,I think holding that beautiful new baby is the best you could ever hope for,,,oh, how much fun that will be,,,God Speed,,,we will be gone from Wed till Sun, but hope get to see you at least for a hug,…. great pictures, but have yet to see any food that makes me go,,wow,,,of course don’t like seafood, so that’s most of it,,,hope you get a really good pizza while you are here, give sweet Jenni a hug for me,,,she did good and sorry she had such a rough time,,,hugs to you both, vj
Hi Vera –
Thank you for the kind and sweet words. I know I’ll eventually get my focus and clarity back — we spent the evening last night with my Cousins and after a good cry we were all soon laughing and remembering Angela. We stayed with them until almost midnight until we were just too tired to stay any longer. Still trying to recover from that nightmare of a trip getting here. Guess it’s pretty obvious I haven’t been writing – just too tired the last couple of nights. I think tonight will[hopefully] be a little earlier night and we can get back here to unwind a little bit and relax – we both need it. Lots of fun so far – you’ll hear about it in the blog next chance I get to write.
Again, thank you for the kind words and thoughts. we’ll absolutely stop by to say ‘hey’ before we leave’.
Great to hear from you~~!